Volume 28 Issue 5
Cutting-Edge Computer Virus Sweeps Through Campus
“This would be a beautiful sight if my essay wasn’t on that computer,” one student commented.Photo By Maria Dhilla On Thursday afternoon, the cybersecurity office at …
Local Flint Shortage Sparks Absolutely Nothing
“I was having a real tough time figuring out what to do without any flint,” said Susan Graves, “and then it struck me.”Photo By Julia Wong …
Joe Rogan Defends Controversial Interview with the Devil
After hearing a comment from Satan, Joe Rogan said, “Hey Jamie, can you pull a clip up of that guy burning in Hell?”Photo by Julia Wong …
Student with 300 Tabs Open Wonders Why Computer Is Slow
“It’s a little stuffy in here,” Milieu noted. “Let me open up a new window.”Photo by Maria Dhilla Fourth-year Ava Milieu has recently faced intense public …
April Fool! This Student Has Been Trying to Nurse a Dead Plant Back to Life for the Past Three Months
“It’s just hibernating,” insisted Nohope.Photo by Sharon Roth On March 3, second-year student Theresa Nohope realized her aloe plant had been dead for the last three …
Philosophy Student Mistakes Thought for Mind-Blowing Epiphany
Michael of Temecula recently took his Minions out to dinner, only to complain, “This is the last supper! You guys cost way too much money.”Photo By …
Bean Bag Shipments to Russia Halted in Support of Ukraine
Following the Russian Army’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine, Mr. Charles Dawkins, CEO of the furniture company Crockery Farm, has announced that bean bag chairs will no …
White People Can Handle Spicy Food and You’re Going to Watch Me Prove It
Hey guys! Welcome back to another challenge video. Now, you may have heard the misconception that White people can’t handle spicy foods, so we here at …
