Volume 28 Issue 1
Random Passerby Crowned “King of the Met Gala”
Random Passerby Crowned “King of the Met Gala” Celebrities attending the Met Gala last weekend were surprised to see viewers choose random passerby Jim Hornbloom as …
Fraudulent Blacksmith Forges Sword
“It looks great in my hand but it sucks during warfare,” claimed Jean Dark. “Kind of a double-edged sword.”Photo by Sharon Roth The workshop of Trevor McLintosh …
La Jolla Family Rents Out Doghouse to UCSD Student Amidst Housing Crisis
“I like having the extra money,” said Mrs. MacInson. “But I no longer have a place to send my husband to when he messes around with …
Ben Platt Reveals His Secret to Staying Young
“Up next, I’m auditioning for the role of Annie,” said Ben Platt.Photo by Sharon Roth Actor Benjamin Plattypus, more commonly known as Ben Platt, has recently been …
Neck to see you -_-
By Jerry Wu
UC Regents Evacuates UCSD, Raccoon Insurgency Rises to Power
“One man’s trash is another man’s missile defense system,” said Drake.Photo by Sharon Roth Uncertainty and fear struck the hearts of the UCSD community as UC Regents …
Clown Costumes Moved to Sexy Section of Spirit Halloween
Clown Costumes Moved to Sexy Section of Spirit Halloween Sales of clown costumes were up last Halloween, but not for the reason one would expect. With …
Online Proxy Warrior Stuck in Infinite Loop
“This guy is a moron,” said Pheer, responding to his own tweet.Photo by Yuri Bukhradze Kyle Pheer, an online proxy warrior, is reportedly stuck in an infinite …
Susan Bagel
Every Sunday evening, I made my beautiful family a scrumptious, rich lasagna. My husband, who slogged through hours of unpaid overtime late into the night with …
