Volume 26
Local Man Can’t Understand Why He Can’t Bring up Gore at the Dinner Table
After performing his “sausage as noose” routine for the fourth night in a row, Jason Roth reportedly told his disapproving mother, “What do you mean mom? …
Rich Student Has Mother Visit Every Weekend to do His Money Laundering
Rich Student Has Mother Visit Every Weekend to do His Money Laundering UCSD first year Alexander Washington recently told his suitemates that his mother frequently travels …
Top Ten Things You Can Tell a Politician That You Can’t Say to Your Significant Other
Top Ten Things You Can Tell a Politician That You Can’t Say to Your Significant Other We need to establish some term limits I’m just feeling …
University of California Sponsors Next Season of The Bachelor to Decide Next UC President
University of California Sponsors Next Season of The Bachelor to Decide Next UC President Following UC President Janet Napolitano’s plans of resignation from her position in …
Local Coffeeshop Announces “12 Months of Christmas” Promotion
One mall Santa commented: “I’ve never had so much job security in my life.”Photo by Sharon Roth Last week, local coffeeshop “Rise ‘n Grind” announced a new …
UCSD Student Proposes $300 AirPod "Earrings"
Following the release of the product, both ear infection rates and the model’s Instagram follower count reportedly skyrocketed.Photo by Sharon Roth Reports find that Apple’s wireless earbuds …
Top Ten Things Your Mom Was Right About All Along
Top Ten Things Your Mom Was Right About All Along You really did need that jacket That boy was up to no good You are just …
Disney Confirms Elsa is Not a Lesbian, But Sven is a Furry
Disney executives have reportedly confirmed that Elsa will be introduced to a new female “best friend roommate” for “Frozen 3.”Photo by Jack Yang Amidst rumors about Queen …
