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Creature Now From Pool Due to Ocean Acidity
He’s not the only one who’s wet,” said one woman, showing her breast. According to a recent report given to the UC San Diego Police Department, a creature that looks “like a weirdly attractive cross between a fish…
How to Have a Hot Girl Hanukkah
As an advance warning, this holiday guide will end with boiling yourself in oil. But let’s not get too ahead of ourselves! I haven’t introduced the …
Bruce Wayne and Batman Caught Together at Charity Gala
“Bruce and the Bat bouncing on it?” riddled The Riddler.Photo by Amit Roth According to attendees of last Saturday’s Wayne Charity Gala, bachelor and philanthropist Bruce …
Santa Requests Protein Shake Instead of Milk and Cookies
“I heard reindeer meat is protein-rich,” said Claus. His reindeer could not be reached for comment. In a recent press release from the North Pole, Santa Claus announced that, instead of the traditional…
I Guess Some Earthlings Are Also Considered ‘Aliens’
Today marks the 283rd day since I first arrived on Earth. For some context: I only came to this planet to acquire the minerals you call …
