Briefs
Tapioca Express offers limited-edition Kiki drinks
On-campus boba shop Tapioca Express recently announced that through the end of Week One, they will be running a limited-time menu of Kiki drinks. The new …
Local Student Adopts Dorm Woodpecker
This summer, Housing, Dining, and Hospitality issued the largest fine in university history to an unnamed Revelle student after the student left over 50 holes in …
BREAKING: Anonymous Does Nothing Again
Last July, Anonymous, a self-identified group of decentralized “hacktivists,” posted a video on all social media platforms condemning the “dirty, rotten, gross, even” state of the …
Local Student Receives 1500 On SAT, Says Mother
Local high school junior Geoffrey Patrick Anderson received a score of 1500 on his SAT last week. According to a news tip emailed to a local …
Students Start ‘School Idol’ Group
Due to the reduction in UC San Diego’s budget, some students have begun to worry about the school’s lifespan. Motivated by these fears, a few “enthusiastic” …
Target CEO To Come Out As Bisexual Following DEI Rollback
During an emergency press conference outside the Target headquarters, CEO Brian Cornell publicly came out as bisexual, citing “lived experience and a revived pride for financial …
VaporHealth CEO Reveals New Vaping Accessories to ‘Live Up to Their Name’
VaporHealth’s CEO and marketing extraordinaire, Siggie Smok, announced that the company will be “firing up” their new accessory brand, VaporAccess. The line of vaping accessories “takes …
UCSD Theatre Facing Budget Cuts, Forced to Produce ‘Non-Woke’ Plays
Amid the wave of theatres losing funding as the federal government cuts National Endowment for the Arts grants, UC San Diego threatened the Department of Theatre …
Famous Critic Says This And That About Recent Movie
Over the last week, acclaimed film critic Arnold Armchair uploaded a series of posts on X about Fodder, aspiring filmmaker Cammy Camera’s debut film. Many X …
Free Speech Privatized
On Monday, May 26, President Trump announced that speech as defined by the First Amendment would no longer be free. “You guys know, this country is …
