Briefs
VaporHealth CEO Reveals New Vaping Accessories to ‘Live Up to Their Name’
VaporHealth’s CEO and marketing extraordinaire, Siggie Smok, announced that the company will be “firing up” their new accessory brand, VaporAccess. The line of vaping accessories “takes …
UCSD Theatre Facing Budget Cuts, Forced to Produce ‘Non-Woke’ Plays
Amid the wave of theatres losing funding as the federal government cuts National Endowment for the Arts grants, UC San Diego threatened the Department of Theatre …
Famous Critic Says This And That About Recent Movie
Over the last week, acclaimed film critic Arnold Armchair uploaded a series of posts on X about Fodder, aspiring filmmaker Cammy Camera’s debut film. Many X …
Free Speech Privatized
On Monday, May 26, President Trump announced that speech as defined by the First Amendment would no longer be free. “You guys know, this country is …
Dining Hall Drinks Require Biometric Scans
In a controversial move, Housing, Dining and Hospitality has partnered with PepsiCo and Amazon to introduce a line of all-new soft drink machines that use biometrics …
ICE Sets Sights on Canadians
Following the Trump administration’s promise to “carry out the largest domestic deportation operation in American history,” random stops and arrests are on the rise. Despite the …
Mind Control Made ‘Believable’
Self-proclaimed “scientist” Kray D. Bill has recently become the center of attention on X, formerly known as Twitter, after claiming to have discovered mind control. “When …
Legislator Campaigns for ‘Trump Love’
On Monday, House Representative Niedaman Inme (R-Georgia) introduced legislation that would criminalize the depiction of “unnatural relationships” in children’s media. Taking aim at “woke media corporations” …
Academy Awards Voting Body Revealed to Be ‘Four White Men’
On March 2, the 97th annual Oscars were held at the Dolby Theater in Los Angeles, one mile away from the recent Palisades fire. During the …
Open Season Declared On Seals
On March 3, the Trump administration announced that beginning in April, they will allow the hunting of a previously protected endangered species of seals. According to …
