Jules Ausbrooks
Super Mario Brothers Super Protest
In a recent press release, famed plumbing, princess-saving, go-kart racing, and ghost-hunting brothers Mario and Luigi have decided to use their platform to decry the current …
Democrats Find More Straws After Drawing Last One
As national outcry against ICE sweeps across the nation and constituents call upon their representatives to “finally do something,” Democrat leaders released a statement sharing the …
Were-CATs Prowling San Diego Streets
“Do not feed the were-CATs. We don’t actually know what their natural diet is,” said Gloria. San Diego Mayor Todd Gloria recently issued warnings urging residents not to “drive anywhere after…
Open Season Declared On Seals
On March 3, the Trump administration announced that beginning in April, they will allow the hunting of a previously protected endangered species of seals. According to …
Gen Z Trends Towards Puritanism
A recent poll conducted on Gen Z revealed that Puritanism is once again “in” and “hip with the kids.” Analysts report that an unprecedented 70% of …
