On-campus boba shop Tapioca Express recently announced that through the end of Week One, they will be running a limited-time menu of Kiki drinks. The new Kiki drinks, starting at $14.99, will contain naturally sourced California-manufactured caltrops instead of the typical tapioca pearls.
“I don’t really know why we’re doing this,” confessed cashier Hunter Paide in an interview. “I mean, caltrops? Seriously? But my manager told us that Bouba tea is really popular, so a Kiki version would sell like crazy. And he was right.”
Since the announcement, lines for Tapioca Express have reached all-time lengths, stretching from Price Center to the trolley station. Large groups of students have even begun to camp outside the shop overnight, huddling beneath the umbrellas for shelter.
When asked to comment, second-year and self-proclaimed “TapEx Enthusiast” Coco LaBeaux began to rave about the new menu items. “They’re so good,” she said. “You know, at first, I was kind of hesitant about drinking something with caltrops. But then I saw that they were limited-edition.” She paused, wiping away the torrent of blood beginning to gush from her mouth, and took another sip. “And I knew I just had to try the matcha.”
The MQ’s publicity editor and tavern wench, Claire is allegedly a second-year theatre major. When not doomscrolling for post ideas, she can be found slithering around the Galbraith basement, trying to bring back “forsooth”, and listening to Kate Bush’s hit 1978 album The Kick Inside.
