Local Phantom Kicked Out of Opera for Ineffective Mask A regular guest of the Paris Opera House known as “The Phantom of the Opera” was recently …

Buddy the Elf Passes Bathroom Singing Bill December 3 marked the passing of the Singing Rights Bill in the Senate. The bill, proposed by North Pole …

Silent Majority Finally Feels Safe Enough to Say Nothing After last week’s record time confirmation of Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett, the silent moral majority …

Political Science Class Constructs Left-leaning Tower of Piazza A Piazza forum formed by students of POLI 104A to discuss class materials has recently been identified to …

Local Woman Rage Quits Over Van Incident This past weekend, local congresswoman Chessy Bengal held a rally for the upcoming election in hopes to secure a …

“World’s Best Grandma” Card Written in 2007 Still Holds Up In 2007, Meghan Cax, who was six years old at the time, wrote a card for …

Tom & Jerry’s Ice Cream Introduces New Flavor: Cheese The beloved ice cream brand Tom & Jerry’s, based off the cartoon series by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, recently introduced …

Local Friendship Ecosystem Endangered by Overfishing for Compliments Tensions between best friends Lacey Clegg and Katrina Hernandez reached a boiling point this Sunday after Clegg failed …

Leftist Suffers Brain Damage Seeing “More Lib Shit On Twitter” Twitter user @GayRevolverOcelot tweeted that they committed themselves to the local clinic, claiming they suffered brain …

Republican Party Thrown Without Safety Measures, Several Students Expelled Several COVID cases have recently been traced to a party thrown by UCSD College Republicans, leading to …