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The Pole is the Worst Art Piece on Campus vs. ..-. ..- -.-. -.- / -.– — ..-

Written by: Matthew Miltimore

Point: The Pole is the Worst Art piece on Campus At the end of my senior year of high school, I found myself facing one of …

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Freshman Fails in Search for Crush’s Mysterious Boyfriend Who ‘Doesn’t go here’

Written by: Saul Chaplin

Jacobs said, “If she has a boyfriend, then why does she keep popping up on my roommate’s Tinder?”Photo by Sharon Roth Joel Jacobs, a first year in …

ArticlesLocalNewsPolitics

Florida Crocodiles Sue Croc Brand Footwear Over Trademark Dispute

Written by: Megan Cox

The court struggled to find jurors unbiased towards Crocs.Photo by Jack Yang After years of dispute, a group of Florida crocodiles is filing a discrimination lawsuit against …

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Disneyland and UC System Compete for Highest Prices

Written by: Pilan Scruggs

UCSD and Disney are also currently engaged in a trademark dispute over the name “King Triton.”Photo by Sharon Roth With spring and summer break just around the …

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Raccoon Themed “Pirates of the Caribbean” Ride Creates a Sinkhole in Sixth Parking Lot

Written by: Andrew Sitko

UCSD officials apologized for disrupting “the foundation of trust” between students and faculty.Photo by Sharon Roth After a controversial decision by Chancellor Khosla to install a raccoon-themed …

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Valentine’s Day Goes Paperless to Appeal to “Those Whiny Kids”

Written by: Ram Sivapalan

Kids lauded the move as a “true act of love” toward the Earth.Photo by Silver Wallace In a bid to reconcile outdated courting practices, major Valentine’s card …

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Area Man Just Waiting for an Opportunity to Talk About the Horses Outside of PF Chang’s

Written by: Megan Cox

“I don’t know who I am anymore without the horse” says Chou, when asked by officers to get off the horse.Photo by Jack Yang Local man Devin …

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Local Man Can’t Understand Why He Can’t Bring up Gore at the Dinner Table

Written by: Andrew Sitko

After performing his “sausage as noose” routine for the fourth night in a row, Jason Roth reportedly told his disapproving mother, “What do you mean mom? …

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Child Politician Criticized for Inconsistency After Position on Favorite Color Changes

Written by: Dan Kaliblotzky

Wilson responded to critics: “What can I say? I don’t see color.”Photo by Jack Yang Five year-old politician Desmond Wilson recently stated that his favorite color is …

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Scripps Institute of Oceanography Creates First Human-Whale Hybrid to Survive Rising Oceans

Written by: Steven Zhou

One spectator called the hybrid “impossible to escape, impossible to forget.”Photo by Jack Yang Dr. Margaret Lienen, Director of Scripps Institute of Oceanography (SIO), recently confirmed that …