Articles
UCSD Campus Police Crack Down on Post-It Art Returns to Stop and Frisk
“This is a sticky situation, we have to handle it carefully,” Stork explained.Photo by Sharon Roth Many UCSD students took dorm decor to the next level with …
UCSD Announces “Bold, Firm” Plan to Decarbonize “by the Time the Earth is Swallowed by the Sun”
“Green energy? Sorry, I don’t see color,” claimed Khosla.Photo by Sharon Roth Following years of pressure by campus climate activists, UCSD admin declared their intention to “fully …
Disney Announces New LGBT Show, No Queer Characters Planned
One disgruntled viewer complained, “The Bible says Adam and Eve, not Mickey and Donald.”Photo by Yuri Bukhradze In the latest announcement of upcoming Disney+ content, the …
All Dining Dollars Converted to Triton Cash: Students Feast in Laundry Rooms
“At least I know my food is clean,” said Lyall.Photo by Jack Yang With understaffing and poor working conditions causing eon-long wait times at dining halls, UCSD …
UCSD Wins Rights to Build Ninth College Atop Gliderport Parking
“I’d be angry with what’s happening right now,” said Byrd, “but the view is so breathtaking I keep on forgetting.”Photo by Sharon Roth In a landmark case …
Fraudulent Blacksmith Forges Sword
“It looks great in my hand but it sucks during warfare,” claimed Jean Dark. “Kind of a double-edged sword.”Photo by Sharon Roth The workshop of Trevor McLintosh …
La Jolla Family Rents Out Doghouse to UCSD Student Amidst Housing Crisis
“I like having the extra money,” said Mrs. MacInson. “But I no longer have a place to send my husband to when he messes around with …
Ben Platt Reveals His Secret to Staying Young
“Up next, I’m auditioning for the role of Annie,” said Ben Platt.Photo by Sharon Roth Actor Benjamin Plattypus, more commonly known as Ben Platt, has recently been …
UC Regents Evacuates UCSD, Raccoon Insurgency Rises to Power
“One man’s trash is another man’s missile defense system,” said Drake.Photo by Sharon Roth Uncertainty and fear struck the hearts of the UCSD community as UC Regents …
Online Proxy Warrior Stuck in Infinite Loop
“This guy is a moron,” said Pheer, responding to his own tweet.Photo by Yuri Bukhradze Kyle Pheer, an online proxy warrior, is reportedly stuck in an infinite …
