Articles
Literature Major Unable to Let Go of the Myth of Sisyphus
“Maybe I need to be bolder,” said Mu. “I’m really trying to push this idea forward.”Photo by Sharon Roth Fourth-year Literature major Cameron Mu has, in her …
Wolftown Debuts New Locally Sourced Raccoon Bowl
“After eating this, the trash doesn’t look so bad,” claimed Nomick.Photo by Maria Dhilla Throngs of hungry undergraduates were greeted by a new sight on Wednesday at …
On-Campus Housing Regresses to Phase Zero
“There’s a COVID detection system for outgoing water, but none for incoming water. Better safe than sorry!” said the Housing Director.Photo by Sharon Roth Yesterday morning, …
Aides Refuse to Reveal Secret to Queen’s Long Life as 70th Year of Rule Approaches
The Church of England will now accept small children as tithe.Photo by Maria Dhilla As Queen Elizabeth II approaches her 70th year of rule, the Commonwealth …
Psych Student Develops Cure for Déjà Vu
Rats treated with Don’tjà Vu were eight times more likely to double-check that the stove was off before leaving the cage.Photo by Robin Brewin Last month, Don’tjà …
I Got You This Heart-Shaped Box for Valentine’s Day Vs. You Fool! I Need a Real Human Heart!
Point: I Got You This Heart-Shaped Box for Valentine’s Day Hey Annie. Happy Valentine’s Day. I’m not great at the whole romance thing, but I wanted …
State of California Abolishes Legal Gender, Strictly Enforces Favorite Color Instead
“I just got my government-assigned color,” said Moore-Sherwin. “They said it’s green, but I’m feeling blue.”Photo by Robin Brewin The state of California has made strides …
COVID-19 Positive Students to Isolate in Breakout Rooms
One student had to be further isolated after sending others in their breakout room a virus.Photo by Maria Dhilla UC San Diego students who test positive …
I Only Make the Class Discords Because Everyone Else Has a God Complex and That’s Why You Should Thank Me
By J. H. SavyeurShepard of the Flock Have you ever been in a lecture and you see that Discord link plunged into chat in the first …
Thespians Claim COVID Immunity As They Are “Really Good At Pretending They Don’t Have It”
“The only jab I’ll get is behind the curtain,” said the actor playing Polonius.Photo by Sharon Roth Last December, the Actors Association of America (AAA) released a …
