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Putin Invited into Trump’s Tree House, but Not in a “Buddy Buddy” Way

Written by: Sage Cristal

On February 13, international news publications reported that U.S. troops killed up to 100 Russian fighters after they attacked a U.S. held base in Syria. At …

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RateMyProfessors Adds New Varieties of Peppers To Its Hotness Rating

Written by: Dan Kaliblotzky

On Saturday, the popular website RateMyProfessors.com revolutionized its rating process by adding more ranking to its “hotness” rating. Previously signified by the options “Yeah” or “Um, …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

EDITORIAL: Watching Drag Race Has Made Me the Best Ally

Written by: Jay Noonan

Before I started watching this show, I had no idea what the gay community was like. I thought it was all those cute boys in high …

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March Madness Renamed March Happiness

Written by: The MQ

On February 24th this past year, the National Collegiate Athletic Association renamed its annual basketball tournament “March Happiness” instead of “March Madness” in an attempt to …

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CAPEs Revealed To Be Elaborate Prank by Professors

Written by: Rowan Hernandez Cosme

After many quarters of professors promoting CAPEs as if they were direly important, a new discovery has shed some light on their real purpose. Local student …

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Muir College Announces New Writing Sequence: John Muir Writing Extravaganza

Written by: Pilan Scruggs

Muir College Writing Program (MCWP) director Carrie Wastal recently unveiled a complete overhaul of the MCWP series. She said that the provosts from the other colleges …

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Turnitin.com To Start Accepting Submissions by Fax

Written by: Quoc Tran

Starting April 2018, Turnitin.com, the popular plagiarism prevention tool used by many professors, will start accepting submissions by fax and begin shutting down the online portion …

ArticlesCampusNewsPolitics

Political Science Major Genuinely Believes He Will Become President One Day

Written by: Elizabeth Niculescu

As a candidate, Stevens is sure that he has what it takes to make it into the Oval Office. Not only did he compete in Model …

ArticlesNewsPolitics

Man Awaiting Ultimate Heat Death of Universe Unimpressed by Rate of Global Warming

Written by: Stephen Lightfoot and Hannah Rosenblatt

“Some people would say I’m a climate change denier,” Forms elaborated, “On the contrary, I consider myself a science and evidence-based man. All I’m saying is …

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Government Shutdown Called “Best Thing To Occur During Trump’s First Year in Office”

Written by: Maryanna Sophia Landaverde

One month after the government shutdown, the American population has settled in with the gravity of the situtation. The shutdown lasted a total of three days, …