Volume 29
Local Student Stops Getting Gas, Car Still Runs “Just Fine”
Sophie Pubb, a third-year math major at UCSD, reportedly stopped filling the gas tank of her 1999 Honda Civic after two weeks of back-to-back midterms at …
Costco to Offer Medication Samples
“I love Costco,” said Davis. “I never knew prices so low could make me feel so high.”Photo by Farhad Taraporevala In a groundbreaking move last week, …
Horticulturists Discover Blue Pepper
Last week, Dr. Horton H. Wharton, the head of the UC San Diego Horticulture Department, announced his research team had discovered a new hottest pepper and …
Biden Declares Bose-Einstein Condensate the New State of the Union
Tuesday night, President Joseph R. Biden shocked the nation during his annual State of the Union address when he declared that the United States would soon …
Taiwan Bids to Be America’s New Asian Sweetheart in 2023
“Our company stands for ‘Taiwan Says ’Murica’s Cool!’” said the president of TSMC.Photo by Julia Wong In a statement released January 1, 2023, Taiwan announced a …
Doctoral Student Submits Thesis, Promises to Have Time for Other Things Now
Local student Philomena Doctersen finally submitted their thesis last Tuesday, which was met with equal celebration and surprise by friends and family. Dr. Fahrt, their thesis …
Student Discovers Their iClicker Works Like Remote from “Click” Starring Adam Sandler
“A, A, A, A, A, A, A,” said one affected professor.Photo by Amit Roth At the beginning of the winter quarter, second-year student Eva Graveller learned …
Health Influencer Launches Brand of Mercury Supplements
“Not only is this mercury great for my health, I also love the way it settles in my stomach!” exclaimed one customer.Photo by Sharon Roth Instagram …
Horoscopes for February 8, 2023
Aquarius – Jan. 20 – Feb. 18 Happy Aquarius season! This month, your power-ups include finding pennies on the ground, never pulling a muscle at the …
Student Debt Relief to Be Distributed via Ticketmaster Verified Fan Presale
“2,000th in line? I know this pain all too well!” stated one fan.Photo by Amit Roth Last week, the U.S. Department of Education revealed that student …
