Local student Philomena Doctersen finally submitted their thesis last Tuesday, which was met with equal celebration and surprise by friends and family. Dr. Fahrt, their thesis advisor who has “never taken Adderall,” expressed measured congratulations. “They kept saying they were going to quit, but now it’s finally done. I’m really proud, but also a little surprised that they actually finished the damn thing.”
Doctersen’s submission also came with news for their friends: “I promise guys, I finally have time for all the fun things I’ve been putting off for the last four years! Who wants to get high with me and listen to obscure 70s folk? Bet you’ve been really missing out on me time.” However, many of their friends report that their thesis submission has had detrimental effects on their socializing. “We have time to hang out now,” friend Kazimir Nunderson explained, “but they won’t shut up about the dang thesis. It’s been four years and we are all proud, but we got together to play Dungeons & Dragons, not to listen to a lecture on flavor physics. Although, I would really love to hear more about the CERN weasel,” Nunderson qualified. “That’s actually kinda cool.”
Kaz Nuckowski is a Copy Editor for the Muir Quarterly. They are usually found in Half Dome laughing and encouraging students to share their wit or giving their own suggestions to make everyone else laugh. Never doubt Kaz and their skills because they will surprise you, especially when the spread has a comic open and they are feeling inspired!