Volume 28
Top Ten Things We Keep in the Junk Drawer “Just in Case”
10. Four sticks of unsalted butter9. An aged Post-it note showing our one password8. A positive pregnancy test7. An umbrella — we’re saving it for a …
Mother Orders Tacos
Expects nine-month delivery date
Local Gamer Tragically Latches on to Cool Character in Elden Ring
“I don’t know why my friends are so worried about him getting kilned. He is a pot,” Cano noted.Photo by Sharon Roth Lilith Cano, a 23-year-old …
Man Edits His Genome
Only uses base pairs C. A. T.
No, I Won’t Close My Tabs, They All Have Really Important Stuff on Them
You will never get me to close my tabs. Every single one of them has vitally important content. What if I need to reference the WikiHow …
Posers Are Horrible and Ruin the Scene for Everybody Vs. I Am Having So Much Fun and Everyone Likes Me!
Point: Posers Are Horrible and Ruin the Scene for Everybody Everybody knows there’s nothing worse than a pretentious little braggart that thinks they know what they’re …
Top Ten Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life
10. Cumin9. Do it in bed8. A scoreboard and referee7. Surprise circumcision6. Speaking strictly in early modern English5. An elaborate pulley mechanism that eliminates any need …
Paramount Halo TV Show to Include Intern OCs
Paramount Halo TV Show to Include Intern OCS The first trailer for the Halo Paramount TV series released on January 29th to fans across the globe …
Photoshop Object Select Stops Identifying Women, Claims They Are Not Objects
“Good thing I still have MS Paint on my computer,” said Dugnutt. “Microsoft doesn’t give a shit about objectifying women.”Photo By Sharon Roth Recently, Adobe has …
CDC Recommends Hiding Vaccines Under Mashed Potatoes to Get Anti-Vaxxers to Take Their Medicine
“The worst part wasn’t the vaccine — it was the fact that the Dino Nuggets were touching the mac ‘n’ cheese,” complained Hetfield.Photo by Robin Brewin In …
