Volume 28 Issue 5
Bean Bag Shipments to Russia Halted in Support of Ukraine
Following the Russian Army’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine, Mr. Charles Dawkins, CEO of the furniture company Crockery Farm, has announced that bean bag chairs will no …
White People Can Handle Spicy Food and You’re Going to Watch Me Prove It
Hey guys! Welcome back to another challenge video. Now, you may have heard the misconception that White people can’t handle spicy foods, so we here at …
Local Journalist Slammed for Using Snow Cones Instead of Snowclones
San Diego journalist Canderson Hooper has come under fire for bringing snow cones to work instead of writing “mindless drivel” through using snowclones. His boss, Calter …
Crypt o’ Currency
Crypt o’ Currency By Kaz Nuckowski
Genentech Slated to Release Highly Anticipated “Human 2.0” Update
Next Thursday, the biotechnology giant Genentech is expected to release the “long-overdue” version 2.0 of Humanity. The update is said to contain many useful additions, alongside …
Mad Quibs – Barista Brawl
Mad Quibs – Barista Brawl
Self-Proclaimed “Main Character” Dies After Parachuteless Skydiving Attempt
Widespread panic was reported in a small suburb outside San Diego this weekend when a “flying, screaming man” fell out of the sky. Sources later confirmed …
The Crossword
The Crossword SOLUTION Across 1: Fancy seafood order, aphrodisiac 11: What your Southern friend says is that blinking thing in the sky 15: Not me 16: …
Ukraine Moves Country to the Middle of Russia
On Tuesday morning, Russian farmers were surprised by the sight of the nation of Ukraine in their backyards, after Ukraine’s populace picked up their entire country …
Crossword Answers (secret!!!)
Crossword Answers (secret!!!) Don’t tell a soul about these.
