Volume 27
Chargers Coach “Finally” Figures Out How to Not Lose Close Games
Chargers Coach “Finally” Figures Out How to Not Lose Close Games After years of having the worst record in the NFL in one-score games, including multiple …
UC San Diego to Convert Lecture Halls to Outdoor Classrooms by Removing Ceilings
This is part of the university’s initiative to push students to reach for the stars.Photo by Sharon Roth UC San Diego Chancellor Pradeep Khosla announced a bold …
The Elusive “Jack” Referred to by Joe Biden Finally Breaks His Silence
The Elusive “Jack” Referred to by Joe Biden Finally Breaks His Silence According to the latest reports from the CIA, the ubiquitous “Jack” commonly referred to …
Election Results Uncertain, US to be Returned to the United Kingdom
Paul Revere forgot to bring the mini sandwiches to the Boston Tea Party.Photo by Jack Yang The British Parliament, responding to claims of election fraud within the …
Local Phantom Kicked Out of Opera for Ineffective Mask
Local Phantom Kicked Out of Opera for Ineffective Mask A regular guest of the Paris Opera House known as “The Phantom of the Opera” was recently …
The MQ’s Guide to HallMarQ Movies
The MQ’s Guide to HallMarQ Movies
We trained an AI on 1,000 hours of YouTube cooking videos and it turned into a YouTuber
Well, we done messed this
one up. Our bad. The interns
we stole from reputable
engineering companies were
SUPPOSED to create an AI,
force it to watch 1,000 hours
of cooking videos on YouTube,
and then have it make us tasty
treats in eternal servitude…
Moviegoers Petition to Implement New “PP” Rating for Pre-Pandemic Films, Citing Dangerous Behavior
Theaters have increased the number of showing times for Jim Carrey’s “The Mask.”Photo by Stephen Lightfoot A new viral campaign, called the PG-PP Movement, has emerged …
Academic Integrity Office Overwhelmed by Instances of Students “Venting” During Exam
A hard limit was placed on emergency meetings called during quizzes.Photo by Sharon Roth The Academic Integrity Office has reported 425 new cases of students being …
Politics Aren’t That Important vs. Yes, So You Shouldn’t Vote
Point: Politics Aren’t That Important By Benny Rourke Ambivalent Democrat/Moderate If you don’t want to vote, honestly it won’t bug me that much. I, for one, …
