Volume 26 Issue 4
Groundhog Day Inner Circle Reveals Punxsutawney Phil as “Treacherous Warhawk”
Rumor has it Punxsutawney Phil grows stronger every time someone misspells his name.Photo by Sharon Roth Only a few days after he declared an early spring, serious …
Local Charmin Ultra Soft Bear Household Stocked With Strong Toilet Paper, Charmin Bear Child Found Passed Out in Bathroom
“Maybe we should just switch to wet wipes,” commented Ultrasoft Charmin Bear Mom.Photo by Sharon Roth Various bathrooms in the house of a Charmin Ultra Soft bear …
Top Ten Reasons The Queen of England Is Holding Out On Dying
Top Ten Reasons The Queen of England Is Holding Out On Dying She’s rich, so unlike you she has access to healthcare She’s waiting for the …
The New Decade Actually Starts Next Year Because There Was No Year Zero vs. Yeah, You May Be Right, but You’re Still a Nerd
Point: The New Decade Actually Starts Next Year Because There Was No Year Zero I’ve noticed something particularly erroneous in the everyday colloquialisms of my fellow …
President Trump Announces Plan to Leave the EU
Trump later tweeted that he was sure the US’ performance of “God Bless Texas” would win the Eurovision contest despite it not being an original song.Photo …
Local Student Caught Googling How to Painlessly Break Leg After Rumors of Military Draft
Before the hammer was swung, Krohner reportedly cried out, “Stop! Uhh, don’t you think a wrench would work better?”Photo by Sharon Roth Fourth-year Marshall student Tamara Krohner …
Cats Gets Two Paws Up
Sorry, I know this movie came out a while ago, but this review took a while to write. Hopefully I end up submitting it on time. …
