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Citing Inflation, UCSD Switches Quarter System to Dollar System
“All of these new changes make me feel like a million Dining Dollars,” said one student. “Which is to say, terrible.”Photo by Julia Wong After the …
Mattel Releases New Barbie,Makes Life in Plastic “Truly Fantastic”
“Mommy, I said I wanted a Cabbage Patch doll, not a garbage patch doll,” said one customer’s daughter.Photo by Amit Roth Mattel, Inc. has released a …
Lightning Union to Strike During October Solar Eclipse
Following in the footsteps of the recent SAG-AFTRA and UAW strikes, the United Lightning Bolts announced plans to strike starting on Friday, October 13, a “very …
Bacteria Don’t Deserve to Be Experimented On vs They’re Not Fucking Animals
Point: Bacteria Don’t Deserve to Be Experimented On While PETA has devoted no small amount of time and effort to advocate for the rights of animals …
Salk Researchers Find Chemicals in Water Supply
“Chemicals in the water supply? Next thing you know they’ll be putting chemicals in food!” said one parent.Photo by James Woolley In a new report from …
Price Center Plaza Looks So Good Now! vs Nothing Has Changed
Point: Price Center Plaza Looks So Good Now! Price Center Plaza looks so good now! I love all the construction they are doing. It truly makes …
NFL Releases Collaborative Script for New Season
“Romeo, o Romeo, wherefore art — oh, shit, wrong play,” said Kenny Pickett.Photo by Amit Roth In a series of advertisements designed to raise excitement for …