Briefs

Briefs

Jacobs School of Engineering Now ‘School of Bioengineering’

Written by: Iris Hochwalt

Following a donation from Hologic, the UC San Diego Jacobs School of Engineering has announced that effective immediately, they are now to be referred to as …

Briefs

UCSD to Require New Sunset Enjoyment Class

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

Yesterday, the Dean of Undergraduate Education announced that all UC San Diego students are required to take a new class, SIO 154: Sunsetology. “Recently I’ve noticed …

Briefs

TSA Agent Fired for Being ‘Too Nice’

Written by: Nadia Marigold

Transportation Security Administration employee Ray Sun-Shyne was fired from Orlando International Airport (MCO) on account of “not behaving according to TSA values and in the TSA …

Briefs

Jake Paul Challenges Hospice Residents to Next Fight

Written by: Sophie Pubb

After Jake Paul prevailed in his fight against former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson, he left the ring with a message about his next match: “No old …

Briefs

Sleeper Agent Refuses to Wake Up

Written by: Sophie Pubb

Intelligence agent handler Sashley Sandler has been struggling to “wake up” Donny Joe, one of the sleeper agents under her jurisdiction. “He ignores me every time …

Briefs

Legal BAC Raised For Election Night

Written by: Dylan Schmidt

In anticipation of an exceptionally fraught election season, the United States Senate has announced the bipartisan passing of a bill that will raise the legal Blood …

Briefs

Moldy Lunchly Packages Become Collector’s Items

Written by: Liv Gilbert

Grocery stores have reported that demand for the Lunchly snack brand created by the YouTube star James Donaldson, known as MrBeast online, has rapidly increased after …

Briefs

Handshake Debuts Venture

Written by: Sylvia

Owing to record low engagement between students, the industry partners of UC San Diego, and its hiring partner Handshake; the two groups are unveiling an initiative …

Briefs

Muir ResLife Instructs Students to Defecate in HDH-Provided Trash Bins

Written by: Ezra Bihis

On Wednesday, October 23, Muir students were informed that residential plumbing systems would be disabled due to a cold water shutoff. As a result, students were …

Briefs

UCSD to Replace Inner Loop and Outer Loop With Two Train Lines

Written by: Iris Hochwalt

UC San Diego Transportation Services spokesperson Bethnal Green has announced that as part of the school’s commitment to sustainability, the Inner Loop and Outer Loop shuttles …