Briefs
Jacobs School of Engineering Now ‘School of Bioengineering’
Following a donation from Hologic, the UC San Diego Jacobs School of Engineering has announced that effective immediately, they are now to be referred to as …
UCSD to Require New Sunset Enjoyment Class
Yesterday, the Dean of Undergraduate Education announced that all UC San Diego students are required to take a new class, SIO 154: Sunsetology. “Recently I’ve noticed …
TSA Agent Fired for Being ‘Too Nice’
Transportation Security Administration employee Ray Sun-Shyne was fired from Orlando International Airport (MCO) on account of “not behaving according to TSA values and in the TSA …
Jake Paul Challenges Hospice Residents to Next Fight
After Jake Paul prevailed in his fight against former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson, he left the ring with a message about his next match: “No old …
Sleeper Agent Refuses to Wake Up
Intelligence agent handler Sashley Sandler has been struggling to “wake up” Donny Joe, one of the sleeper agents under her jurisdiction. “He ignores me every time …
Legal BAC Raised For Election Night
In anticipation of an exceptionally fraught election season, the United States Senate has announced the bipartisan passing of a bill that will raise the legal Blood …
Moldy Lunchly Packages Become Collector’s Items
Grocery stores have reported that demand for the Lunchly snack brand created by the YouTube star James Donaldson, known as MrBeast online, has rapidly increased after …
Handshake Debuts Venture
Owing to record low engagement between students, the industry partners of UC San Diego, and its hiring partner Handshake; the two groups are unveiling an initiative …
Muir ResLife Instructs Students to Defecate in HDH-Provided Trash Bins
On Wednesday, October 23, Muir students were informed that residential plumbing systems would be disabled due to a cold water shutoff. As a result, students were …
UCSD to Replace Inner Loop and Outer Loop With Two Train Lines
UC San Diego Transportation Services spokesperson Bethnal Green has announced that as part of the school’s commitment to sustainability, the Inner Loop and Outer Loop shuttles …


