Following a donation from Hologic, the UC San Diego Jacobs School of Engineering has announced that effective immediately, they are now to be referred to as the Jacobs School of Bioengineering, and ask that all faculty conduct only biology-based research.
This move was reported to have caused “mixed feelings” among staff: “I have to upgrade my lab to BSL-2,” said Abe Razon, an automaton engineering associate professor. “I don’t think I’m qualified for my job. They’re probably going to deny me tenure because I don’t know what a prion is!” Others, like Bridget Spann, a target engineering graduate student, are more optimistic. Spann laughed when asked about the new policy, stating, “I can just slap a steak on my structure on our fancy, schmancy shake table and say that I was testing a tissue-coated building. This is easy! It’s not like the school knows what I’m doing.” Computer arts professor Emma Jing agreed: “I can just take whatever data the med school creates and do something with it and call that bioinformatics, even if I don’t understand what the data means!”
Students were less opinionated about the change. “It doesn’t matter. I have a quiz on Abruptly Cut Off Solids tomorrow and that’s a real problem,” said third-year nanononsense engineering major Dot Quantum.
