Briefs
Humans Declared Critically Endangered by ‘Guy Who Can’t Get Laid’
An intern for the Environmental Protection Agency recently declared humans an endangered species on the agency’s X account. The post was quickly retracted by the intern’s …
Rats Unionize
UC San Diego’s rodent population has recently received recognition as an organized union by campus administration. The Lab Rats’ 12-month campaign has garnered them protections against …
Every Time a College is Opened, a Provost Gains its Wings
With the opening of Eighth College this year and the anticipated opening of more in the near future, upwards mobility in the provost job market is …
UCSD Student Begins New TikTok Gym Trend: ‘Deathmaxxing’
UC San Diego student Jim Borough has found himself at the center of a new workout trend taking TikTok by storm, dubbed “Deathmaxxing,” which began with …
UCSD Buys Seaworld to Expand SIO Research
On Tuesday, the Regents of the University of California allowed UC San Diego to buy the SeaWorld theme park for a price of $200 million to …
MTS Exclusive Offer Was Available October 1–30 ONLY
For the fall season, MTS held a monthlong promotion where bus riders received a certain amount of points based on how far they commuted. Points were …
Australia Loses War to Emus Again
The Australian military has reported that their second crusade against the emus has failed. Following their defeat at the hands of the birds in the 1932 …
Red Angels Drum Corps Raises Member Fees
For the fifth year in a row, the Red Angels Drum Corps has raised its member fees, this time to a record-setting $11,283 for the 2024 …
San Diego Named Least Expensive City to Live in the U.S.
Following a rapid decline in rent prices, San Diego fell off of the U.S. News & World Report’s list of most expensive places to live in …
Chuck E. Cheese Denies Five Nights at Freddy’s Connection after ABduction
Last Friday evening, a child was reported missing after attending a birthday party at the Pasadena Chuck E. Cheese location. Following the Pasadena Police Department’s report …