Briefs
Is Bowser Gay or Bisexual?
Is Bowser Gay or Bisexual? Great question! Originally, when we envisioned the character of Bowser, we imagined a love triangle between Mario, Peach, and Bowser with …
Why did Wario bite me?
Why did Wario bite me? Wario has long been known as Mario’s evil counterpart, but few fans know the lore surrounding Wario’s descent to the dark …
Have the Shy Guys practiced their public speaking skills?
Have the Shy Guys practiced their public speaking skills? We’re so glad you asked! Some of the Shy Guys have been working to improve their incessant …
Brave Senator Thwarts Human Rights Measure
Brave Senator Thwarts Human Rights Measure On March 5, when counting a vote on whether or not to increase the federal minimum wage to 15 dollars …
Area Man Experiences Brief Sexual Thrill After Seeing Someone Unmask
Area Man Experiences Brief Sexual Thrill After Seeing Someone Unmask The emotion Raphael Fratangeli felt upon witnessing a complete stranger’s full, unmasked face was, in his …
Local Pre-Law Student Mourned by All
Local Pre-Law Student Mourned by All The entire UCSD community is in mourning following the loss of local pre-law student, Shmexter Shmamilton. Known by his peers …
Local Student Takes 2-Hour Bus Ride for Brief Social Interaction
Local Student Takes 2-Hour Bus Ride for Brief Social Interaction In a desperate attempt to engage with online college friends, local second-year student Kris Nunjowsky reportedly …
Magic 8-Ball Makes Concerning Predictions about Iraq
Magic 8-Ball Makes Concerning Predictions about Iraq The popular toy and novelty soothsayer, Magic 8-Ball, has garnered significant attention following their appearance on NBC 7 News. …
Home Shopping Network Officially Launches New Streaming Service
Home Shopping Network Officially Launches New Streaming Service The popular television station The Home Shopping Network announced that it is going to be launching its own …
Top Ten Ways You’re Celebrating Your One Year Anniversary of Quarantining
Top Ten Ways You’re Celebrating Your One Year Anniversary of Quarantining With alcohol Re-dyeing your hair Going on another walk Burning all your masks symbolically and …
