Articles
Aged RPG Protagonist Still Hoarding Potions for “Final Boss Battle”
Alex Alteria, the legendary heroine of Etheria, celebrated her 89th birthday last week, sitting…
I Am the Gamer Who Doesn’t Understand Buttons: This Is My Story
Let’s get one thing clear: I know what buttons are. I wear pants almost every day of my life. That’s not what this is about…
Local Potter’s Business Booming After Hero Passes Through Town
Several days ago, a local delinquent visited Rarakiro Village in Central Myrule and smashed…
Touch the Sky in Pilotwings! Or Don’t! See if I Care!
What’s up gamers? I’m a nameless pilot, and this return has been a long time coming…
See Your Favorite Nintendo Switch Games From a Whole New Position With the Newly Released Nintendo Top and Nintendo Bottom!
On June 1, the two most fabulous consoles in “gayming” history will be available in…
Target to Hold “Birthday Season” Sale
Annual birth rate goals were reached across all participating locations.Photo by Maria Dhilla A recent press release from the retail company Target announced plans to hold a …
Paddington The Bear Added to FBI’s Most Wanted List
After sampling Pooh’s honey, Paddington said, “Oh yeah! This shit is pure!”Photo by Sharon Roth Described as “wearing a charming button down, with surprisingly soft brown fur, …
Elon Musk Provokes Fight After Spitting On Lime Green Kia Soul
“Without his money,” said Bladaire, “he’s just an Elon husk of a man.”Photo by Jack Yang On February 23, a dangerous fight broke out in the parking …
Local Student Only Pays $1,400 of Tuition Because They “Paid the Rest of It in Earlier Quarters”
“I’m running a personal deficit,” Ramirez said. “The school is lucky they’re getting anything at all.”Photo by Jack Yang Local student Abby Ramirez recently exposed a loophole …
You’ll Never Get Ahold of Me Lucky Charms! vs. Sir, If We Don’t Operate These Kidney Stones Could Kill You.
Point: You’ll Never Get Ahold of Me Lucky Charms! By Lucky The White Whale of Leprechauns Oh ya sneaky little bastards think you’ve gotten to me …
