Articles
UCSD Builds New Student Parking Lot in Juneau, Alaska
“I can see the Russian studies department from here,” said one student.Photo by Maria Dhilla In an effort to address the lack of proper student parking on …
Ache of the Hummingbird Muffin
By Hummingbird M. UffinPastry-Adjacent Food Item Everyone asks how the food is, but nobody asks HOW the food is. I have endured true struggle in this …
I’m the First Engineering Student Without a Superiority Complex: Here’s My Story
By Gabriella HeartEngineering Student I still remember the exact moment when I realized I wanted to be an engineer. It was when I built my first …
I Think My Kitchen is Talking to Me vs. I Am, and I Wish You’d Listen
Point: I Think My Kitchen is Talking to Me I swear I’m not crazy. Last night when I went to grab some dessert, I could have …
Stressed Student Creates New Meaning for March Madness
Followers of Perez are looking forward to moving from March Madness to Apollonian April.Photo by Maria Dhilla Fueled by Modafinil and four carefully curated Spotify playlists, fourth-year …
Local Pony Not Horsing Around
Regarding Lopez’s pitchiness, spectators said, “Close is only good enough for horseshoes and hand grenades.”Photo by Sharon Roth Celebrity pony Burt Lopez made waves on social media …
Governor Newsom Found to be Leading a Double Life as Superhero: “The Gavin-ator”
“You win some, you Newsom,” said The Gavinator.Photo by Jack Yang In a feature piece posted online this past weekend, California Governor Gavin Newsom was revealed to …
Local Family Goes on Annual Ska Trip
Billy Johnson complained, “This trip was supposed to be Sublime.”Photo by Jack Yang In accordance with tradition, the infamous San Diegan family, the Johnsons, have completed their …
The Weeknd Delivers an Astonishing Allegory of Society via Super Bowl Halftime Show
A particularly philosophical commenter said, “One must imagine the Weeknd happy.”Photo by Jack Yang Grammy award-winning Canadian singer The Weeknd has been praised recently for his thought-provoking …
Elderly Welder Welding Wedding Rings Welcomes Internet Flame
While weddings between welders are beautiful, 50 percent of scrap is taken in the divorce.Photo by Jack Yang The TikTok algorithm has birthed another viral video from …
