Articles
Nintendo x Amazon Launches Wii Fresh
Play with Mario and all your friends on Wii Fresh! The new, exciting interactive grocery simulation game…
Hit The Forest Floor in Mating Dance Dance Revolution!
Photo by Sharon Roth Dance your tail feathers off in the newest game by the same amalgamous neon dancing slaves — who double as video game developers …
The Games With Everything You Could Want: Pokémon Leaks and Pokémon Rumors
The Pokémon Company has whipped up a huge spread of surprises and activities to celebrate the series’ 25th anniversary…
C’mon Gamers, Let’s Put the Gaming Back into This Gaming Platform!
School always has to ruin everything, am I right? The newest thing it’s been poisoning with its total uncoolness is…
Cooking Mama Owes Me Sex
I normally discourage the presence of female protagonists in video games because I believe they are not as strong nor as cool as men…
Target to Hold “Birthday Season” Sale
Annual birth rate goals were reached across all participating locations.Photo by Maria Dhilla A recent press release from the retail company Target announced plans to hold a …
Paddington The Bear Added to FBI’s Most Wanted List
After sampling Pooh’s honey, Paddington said, “Oh yeah! This shit is pure!”Photo by Sharon Roth Described as “wearing a charming button down, with surprisingly soft brown fur, …
Elon Musk Provokes Fight After Spitting On Lime Green Kia Soul
“Without his money,” said Bladaire, “he’s just an Elon husk of a man.”Photo by Jack Yang On February 23, a dangerous fight broke out in the parking …
Local Student Only Pays $1,400 of Tuition Because They “Paid the Rest of It in Earlier Quarters”
“I’m running a personal deficit,” Ramirez said. “The school is lucky they’re getting anything at all.”Photo by Jack Yang Local student Abby Ramirez recently exposed a loophole …
You’ll Never Get Ahold of Me Lucky Charms! vs. Sir, If We Don’t Operate These Kidney Stones Could Kill You.
Point: You’ll Never Get Ahold of Me Lucky Charms! By Lucky The White Whale of Leprechauns Oh ya sneaky little bastards think you’ve gotten to me …
