Articles
My Sincere Apology to the American People
Okay, so I know my most recent apology wasn’t that great, and I accept that. I am a big man, the biggest man, and I know …
Local Man Fixes Sink, As the Prophecy Foretold
Late last Monday night, Dave DeFranco did what was thought to be impossible and what is considered by most men to be a “true miracle: “he …
New Open Access Research Journal Removes All Publishing Barriers, Standards
Open access journals have revolutionized the publishing of scientific research, partially by speeding the review process, and partially by instructing reviewers to only focus on the …
Polls Show 0.7 Percent Increase in Clinton Support 70 Percent Decrease in Complete Sentences Used
Recent polls report Clinton gained a slight increase in support since the last presidential debate against GOP candidate Donald Trump; however, she is still being beaten …
History Wishes Humanity Would Listen More Carefully, Is Tired of Repeating Itself
A recent study conducted by historians yielded the unprecedented revelation that History would actually rather not keep repeating itself and really wishes humanity would take the …
Point-Counter Point: College Emails
Point: Ask Not What Your College Can Do for You, But What You Can Do for Your College Dear Mr./Mrs. name. Hello! Our records show that …
Donald Trump Plans to Hire Dick Wolf to Implement Law & Order Policy
Handwritten notes found on Trump’s podium by Hofstra University janitor Philipe Santana after the first Presidential Debate seem to indicate who Trump has decided to hire …
Muir Res Hall Designated as Wildlife Preserve after Rare Species of Moth Found
In a sudden turn of events, the Muir residential halls have now been declared a wildlife preserve after a new species of moth was discovered being …
Marvel’s Luke Cage: Bulletproof Logic
After finally making my way through all 13 hours of the new Netflix TV show, Marvel’s Luke Cage, I have to say I’m impressed. This being …
Turnitin Decides 26 Words or Fewer is Not Plagiarism
The leading originality checking program, Turnitin, has announced this past week that it will not mark plagiarism that consists of 26 words or fewer. Turnitin is …
