Guy in Lecture Won’t Stop Talking, Is Possibly Professor

Written by: Robert Renfro

“Will this altercation be on the podcast?” one student asked.
Photo by: Jack Yang

A recent audit of a 3 p.m. Math 18 lecture has revealed the long-unidentified man who will not stop talking during lecture. Several conflicting sources pointed to the possibility that he is, in fact, the professor. However, this claim cannot be independently verified.

The man, first spotted in September, has since continued to speak loudly during each and every lecture. One student, Veronica Moody, claimed the “incessant talking,” which may or may not be pedagogical in content, has significantly harmed her educational experience. “I go in and I’m trying to take notes and then I have to hear this joker, this fool, this complete jackass, distracting me by talking to whoever will listen about vectors or some other irrelevant topic. I tried to catch up by going to office hours, but wouldn’t you believe it? He was there, too. I’ve had it up to here with this guy. Like, if you don’t want to pay attention, that’s fine, but do you really need to drag everyone else down? Just be quiet for one second, sheesh.”

Other students agreed with Moody, such as Chance Horton who told a reporter, “It’s fine if you need to say something to someone, but do you really need to be so loud that everyone hears it? He literally speaks into a mic so we all have to hear him. Can you believe this guy? The nerve of him. He mentioned something about null spaces the other day and it’s like, ‘Dude, nobody asked.’”

Recently, however, some have speculated that the man who speaks all the time is the professor, citing evidence such as seeing him wear glasses and go to lecture despite a lack of attendance check. Nevertheless, not all are convinced that he is a professor.

Horton argued, “Some people think this guy is the professor, but that doesn’t make any sense. This course clearly has no professor. First of all, I have not learned anything in this course. That’s already one mark for the ‘there is no professor’ column, okay? The most convincing evidence, though, is that it still says ‘staff’ in WebReg. I’d like to see someone go ahead and try to explain that.” Most students cite this as the reason they are unsure. “TritonEd said that there would be extra credit if everyone did the CAPE for the class, so I pretended there was a professor to review anyways. Maybe we’ll find him one day.” The CAPE reviews have resulted in a “100 percent would recommend” professor rating.

Assistant Content at The MQ

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *