Opinion
PCP
POINT: You’re Making Me Uncomfortable With How Frequently You Write Fanfictions Josh, we need to talk. I know that you’re enjoying your … “creative writing” and I …
EDITORIAL: Baywatch Too Deep for General Audiences
This summer is chock full of studio driven, mass-appeal, action blockbusters leaving little space for anything not trying to gross a billion dollars. From the new …
PCP
POINT: The Waiting Room Chairs in Dr. Schimmel’s Cosmetic Orthodontics Are Geometrically Unfeasible Listen, I love me some Bauhaus inspired Blobitecture seating arrangements as much as the …
Penis Cakes
Point: I’m Really Getting Tired of Penis Cakes at Bachelorette Parties Look here, lady. I’ve seen penis cakes before. I’ve been to so many bachelorette parties …
In Response to My Critics, as Wrong as a Toothbrush in a Bathroom
It is the apparent opinion of Mr. James Dickenson that, while my last novel “Crying in the Parking Lot of a Burger King,” sequel to the …
Put Your Children’s Future in My Capable, Perfectly Manicured Hands and You Won’t Regret It
America, I am here to tell you that all of your youths are in safe hands. I cannot say yet exactly whose hands those will be …
Point-Counter Point: Momma Horny
Point: Is It Just Me, or Did Nathan’s Friend Turn into a Handsome Young Man? Hey Martha, do you remember that kid who used to play …
Point-Counter Point: Bus Drivers
Point: Bus Drivers Should Not Sacrifice a Whole Shuttle of Students for Five Foolish Traffic Violators The trolley problem: a recurrent topic of philosophical and ethical …
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR: Addressing the Recent Election
NOTE: This is NOT a satirical article In the aftermath of the recent election, and given our new president-elect, we as a publication have decided to …
My Sincere Apology to the American People
Okay, so I know my most recent apology wasn’t that great, and I accept that. I am a big man, the biggest man, and I know …
