News
Vegan Woman Hasn’t Eaten in 30 Years
Schwartz has offered readers the code “STARVAT10N” for 10% off her nutrient supplement product line.Photo by Sharon Roth Rebecca Shwartz, a 48-year-old resident of Clairemont, San Diego, …
Local Coffeeshop Announces “12 Months of Christmas” Promotion
One mall Santa commented: “I’ve never had so much job security in my life.”Photo by Sharon Roth Last week, local coffeeshop “Rise ‘n Grind” announced a new …
President Trump Announces Plan to Leave the EU
Trump later tweeted that he was sure the US’ performance of “God Bless Texas” would win the Eurovision contest despite it not being an original song.Photo …
Hydroflasks Recalled, College Students Enter Withdrawal
Panlelo told reporters, “How am I going to stay awake during class if there’s no Hydro Flasks dropping every 15 minutes?”Photo by Sharon Roth On October …
Local Laptop Has Existential Crisis After Being Put on Desk, Starts Lifestyle Blog
My Laptop later shared that its crisis could not be solved by turning itself off and on again.Photo by Sharon Roth Local laptop “My Laptop,” a Lenovo …
Brexit Delayed Until 2045
While there was a referendum on whether or not Boris Johnson should be tarred and feathered, everyone who would have voted “no” stayed at home.Photo by Jack …
New Leaked Brexit Document Reveals Plan for US to Annex United Kingdom, Secede Florida to EU
The British were reportedly confused about why there was sweet tea in their harbor.Photo by Silver Wallace The United Kingdom is set to leave the European Union …
Actor Dies of Cardiac Arrest In Scene Where Grinch’s Heart Grows Three Sizes
Critics referred to Anderson’s portrayal of the Grinch as “a heart-wrenching performance.”Photo by Jack Yang Tragedy struck a high school performance of Dr. Seuss’ “How the Grinch …
Mother Refuses to Cater to Daughter's "Vegan Phase" during Thanksgiving Dinner
Julie Smith decided the centerpiece dish would be the beef between her and her daughter.Photo by Jerry Wu UCSD first-year Marie Smith’s Thanksgiving break has turned into …
