Julie Smith decided the centerpiece dish would be the beef between her and her daughter.
Photo by Jerry Wu
UCSD first-year Marie Smith’s Thanksgiving break has turned into a hunger strike following a dispute between Smith and her mother over her newfound veganism. Marie’s mother, Julie Smith, has reportedly refused to cook plant-based alternatives for Marie during the holiday season.
Marie, who declared Environmental Engineering shortly after finding her new dietary lifestyle, shared that she “became vegan a week after starting at UCSD. I read some unnecessarily aggressive chalk messages on Library Walk calling me a ‘murderer,’ and I just couldn’t take the guilt. Not to sound cheesy or anything — well, I could never sound ‘cheesy’ because I’m vegan — but I just feel better now.”
Marie’s new diet, however, sparked conflict when she | returned to her home in Salina, Kansas for Thanksgiving. “I told my parents that I wanted to eat vegan this Thanksgiving. I want to stick to this diet, and it is not a phase.”
Julie disagreed with her daughter, saying, “Marie’s vegan thing is 100% a phase. And a very stupid phase at that. I knew she was gonna try to pull some shit like this when we let her go to that hippie school in California.” Julie has claimed she will not adjust her Thanksgiving menu plans to fulfill Marie’s new dietary preferences. “Every classic Thanksgiving dish either has butter or bacon or cream cheese or a combination of the three. I’m not gonna change up my recipes for her. I have been planning my Thanksgiving menu for a year now, and I don’t want those Pinterest boards to be all for naught. Mashed potatoes made with Silk don’t taste as good as mashed potatoes made with heavy cream, and that’s just the truth. So Marie is just gonna have to suck it up and eat some animals. Just like the Indians did with those colonial fellows when they landed on Pilgrim Rock … Is it Pilgrim Rock or Plymouth Rock? I can never remember, but Marie is gonna eat this goddamn turkey.”
As a result of her mother’s opposition, Marie has taken up a hunger strike. “I didn’t really mean for this to be a hunger strike. I just genuinely can’t find food here that isn’t doused in mayonnaise or butter. Is it like a crime or something to sell salad in Kansas? At best, I may be able to find a can of gelatin-free cranberry sauce to shotgun. When I became vegan, I didn’t know it would be so hard. I thought it was just about making cheeky, elitist one liners about non-vegans, but it’s actually so much more than that. I would give my left tit for some Roots fish tacos right now.”
Beans Cox is a crystal carrying, palm/tarot reading, vegan hipster who is obviously from Portland, Oregon. Her favorite type of bean is pinto.
