News
Gov. Newsom to Screen Homeless Population from Public View
“This is an outrage!” said one student. “Which soup kitchen will I get volunteer hours from now?!”Photo by Liv Gilbert Last week, California Governor Gavin Newsom …
HDH Debuts Caffeinated Breakfasts
“Don’t talk to me ’til I’ve had my morning burrito,” said Sixth College student Calvin Herrington.Photo by Ezra Bihis Following the trends of the beverage industry, …
Literature Major Mistakes Sign for Signified
“I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes,” said third-year Literature/Writing major Ace Bassington.Photo by Liv Gilbert Literature major Earnest Bytheway has reportedly mistaken …
UCSD Announces Inter-College Competition
“This is the first time I’ve seen Chancellor Khosla on campus,” said one student. “What a hunk!”Photo by Ezra Bihis This past Thursday, UC San Diego …
UCSD Unveils New Noise Regulations
“This really hertz,” said student Oswald Frequario.Photo by Madeline Mozafari and Liv Gilbert In anticipation of the upcoming Regents budget committee meeting, UC San Diego Facilities …
AWP ‘Diversity Filter’ Working as Intended
“We hold students coming from the most diverse backgrounds to a higher standard, because we know they need it,” said Chancellor Pradeep K. Khosla.Photo by Liv …
Santa Claus Declared Enemy of State
“My mommy said Santa’s a Democrat, so I think he deserved it,” said local 7-year-old Annie Jones.Photo by Liv Gilbert The United States has announced that …
Medical School Applications to Now Require Credit Score
“The second I become a doctor, I’m defaulting on all my loans,” said Tagley Jones, credit score 682.Photo by Amit Roth The American Association of Medical …
UCSD Abolishes Thanksgiving Break
“If Ben Franklin had gotten his way, we would be eating the national bird right now,” said student Reginald Archibald.Photo by Jordan Whitlow At a press …
Grocery Stores Now Stocking Organic, Free-Range Bottled Water
“Compared to me, all those normal water suckers are low-drated,” said WellWater customer and self-proclaimed “clean girl” Hayleigh Zoomer.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala As of early October, …
