UCSD Acquires Trolley for Student Housing

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Written by: Victoria Ta

“Next station: Blue Line Hall,” stated the trolley intercom. “La siguiente estación: Blue Line Hall. Blue Line Hall is next.”
Photo by Amit Roth

A recently declassified 1984 study released by the San Diego Association of Governments (SANDAG) revealed that an overwhelming 96 percent of San Diegans support the use of public transit. In response, UC San Diego Chancellor Pradeep Khosla successfully purchased the San Diego Metropolitan Transit System (MTS) and announced plans to convert the “iconic” San Diego Trolley into high-speed dormitories last month. “My heart breaks for the suffering of the poor, poor students,” said Khosla. “With traffic congestion, pollution, and housing shortages all getting worse, our path going forward is for Tritons to shift to public transport living spaces.”

Under the direction of UCSD’s top engineers, MTS converted the San Diego Trolley system, which includes all 168 light rail vehicles and three historic vehicles, into high-speed luxury dormitories featuring ocean views and a flexibly convenient location. Residents of the MTS dorms may enjoy a spacious allotment of between three to fifteen square feet of space, with each trolley holding up to 250 residents. The unorthodox arrangement of the trolley cars resulted in four unique “room” layouts: “single seat”, “double seat”, “standing”, and “roof”. While none of the trolleys have a bathroom on board, the university will provide a select 10 cars with complimentary Wi-Fi.

The new dormitory system is currently undergoing a trial period in which during a two-year period, students may rent a space at a discounted $2,500 per month. Students can also apply to become a resident advisor which offers a competitive starting salary of $17.25 in Triton Cash per hour and benefits such as $20 Triton Cash gift cards and UC SHIP vision insurance.

The majority of residents in MTS’s premier Blue Line Hall have praised the state-of-the-art dormitories, with overwhelming approval of the exclusive benefit of a direct line to the university. Engineering student and resident advisor Kent Drive revealed how Khosla’s innovative solution to the housing problem has drastically improved his life. “You could argue that combining public transit and student housing poses a safety hazard and is a massive waste of taxpayer dollars, but you’d be missing the bigger picture. I think that it should be at the forefront of the city’s efforts,” Drive stated. “Thanks to Khosla’s efforts, my desires for luxuries like furniture and groceries are long gone. I save 10 minutes every day carpool-house-ing.”

UCSD-MTS faces some unique challenges, as noted by Khosla. “Trainwrecks happen if educators are horribly disconnected from this generation of bright students,” said Khosla. “We may not be the best school by any qualitative metric, but no one can show students what it means to survive like we do.” Students have complained about several aspects of their accommodations, citing “resource wars” and “insider trading.” Green Line resident Park Inglot, who previously drove four hours to his work and classes everyday, was among the supporters of the MTS housing project. “We just push the trolley to UCSD and back,” Inglot said. “They called it ‘infinite opportunities for social connection,’ I call it ‘aggressive transportation.’ Despite running low on food, I’m a top 10 commuter and am lucky to now have two seats after a peaceful squabble with a CS major over space complexity problems onboard.”

The early success of UCSD-MTS shows promise for the development of UCSD-led technologies nationwide. The scale of this project is unprecedented in the history of the institute, and is widely considered by neurosurgeons to be “mind-blowing.” Khosla spoke at a press conference: “We are a top ten national university in transit dormitories.” He continued, “Plans to convert trolleys to classrooms have been approved by the city. On my honor as Conductor of UCSD, I’m thrilled to provide students with a sustainable and uniquely Californian living experience.”

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