Local
Local Laptop Has Existential Crisis After Being Put on Desk, Starts Lifestyle Blog
My Laptop later shared that its crisis could not be solved by turning itself off and on again.Photo by Sharon Roth Local laptop “My Laptop,” a Lenovo …
Actor Dies of Cardiac Arrest In Scene Where Grinch’s Heart Grows Three Sizes
Critics referred to Anderson’s portrayal of the Grinch as “a heart-wrenching performance.”Photo by Jack Yang Tragedy struck a high school performance of Dr. Seuss’ “How the Grinch …
Mother Refuses to Cater to Daughter's "Vegan Phase" during Thanksgiving Dinner
Julie Smith decided the centerpiece dish would be the beef between her and her daughter.Photo by Jerry Wu UCSD first-year Marie Smith’s Thanksgiving break has turned into …
Area Writer Admitted to Jacobs Burn Center Due to Burnout
A further look into Stefanovic’s computer revealed 37 work-in-progress documents.Photo by Jack Yang UCSD student Joe Stefanovic, a 20 year-old satire writer, has recently been admitted to …
Experts Recommend Daylight Roth IRA Over Daylight Savings
Half of the protest reportedly failed to show up because they “fell forward” instead of “falling back.”Photo by Silver Wallace On November 3, residents across San Diego …
Costco Sample Guy in Consideration for Michelin Star
Critics’ only complaint was that they could only take one sample at a time.Photo by Jack Yang Longtime employee of Claremont’s Costco Wholesale, Hank McKindle, has been …
Local Student Seeks to Learn Who Gerry Mandering Is
Quill later wanted to find out who “All” was and why they should get Medicare.Photo by Jack Yang First-year ERC student Tara Quill, after just now realizing …
Report Finds Impossible Whopper Killed 12 People, Considered “Healthiest Burger on the Market”
One of the twelve eulogies reportedly stated: “Now they will always have it their way.”Photo by Jack Yang Pew Research has found the Impossible Whopper from Burger …
New Trump Healthcare Program Supplies Public With Healing Crystals
Doctors are encouraging patients to look at their prescribed crystals at least twice a day.Photo by Jack Yang In January 2020, the Trump administration will roll out …
“Distant Relative ‘Cannot BELIEVE’ How Much You’ve Grown Since Last Christmas”
After witnessing the growth of her grandnephew, Great Aunt Patty immediately went to work knitting 75 larger sweaters and cooking 32 times the original amount of …
