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Area Writer Admitted to Jacobs Burn Center Due to Burnout

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A further look into Stefanovic’s computer revealed 37 work-in-progress documents.
Photo by Jack Yang

UCSD student Joe Stefanovic, a 20 year-old satire writer, has recently been admitted to UCSD Jacobs Medical Center after suffering from third degree burnout. Stefanovic reportedly spends “way too many hours a day” focusing on his creative endeavors, leading his medical providers to state that his hobbies are the root cause of his burnout.

“During our discussions, he informed me about a time he spent 30 minutes trying to decide if he should start his article with a question or a fact. That amount of time is unhealthy and unsustainable over the long-term,” shared Dr. Molly Davids from the Jacobs Burn Center. “I hope he makes the necessary changes in his life priorities so he can live a longer, healthier life.”

Stefanovic has a different perspective on his work-fun balance, repeatedly reminding reporters that his work makes a huge difference to the campus culture at UCSD. “Don’t you guys see? My work on my podcast, with the campus paper, and all the satire I came up with is totally revolutionary. If I can make one person interested in the groundbreaking work I do, I’d consider it a success. It would be selfish of me to take a break and deprive the world of my content.”

An online meta-analysis has revealed Stefanovic’s published articles have averaged one view each. When informed about this statistic, Stefanovic reportedly went into psychological shock, saying he’s “surprised that the five times he refreshed the page didn’t boost the count.” Due to his worsening health conditions, he is currently receiving around-the-clock care until the burnout subsides.

Stefanovic’s friends from his clubs share concerns about his self-destructive habits. Rex Milton, a satirist acquainted with Stefanovic, worries that Stefanovic is “spiraling out of control, with his diet consisting more of Oreos and Cheetos than water during final production and his ideas reverting to ninth grade potty humor.” Lily Scotts, a co-producer of the podcast Stefanovic is working on, shares similar thoughts, claiming she is fearful of informing him that “everyone has a podcast now, and no one is really going to listen to another stupid podcast about some shitty TV show. I might have to force him to take some time off and revive his creativity.” Family members of Stefanovic also commented on his condition, sharing their appreciation for the outpouring of support for his recovery. “We just want our son to be a healthy human being again,” shared his father.

When informed about the growing concerns over his health, Stefanovic expressed gratitude but brushed such comments aside. “I promise I can juggle all my responsibilities. Swear to God! This thing I’m going through? It’s just a small slip up and I can definitely get my creative juices rolling again. What was that? Don’t you DARE say I have writer’s block! I’m the uh, uh, writiest writer the world’s ever, uh, uh, SEEN!”

Content Editor at The MQ

Steven Zhou was made in Canada and designed in California. He tolerates writing and has been occasionally funny since 2016.

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