Local
New Guy in Town “Definitely a Time Traveler”
After a dead butterfly was logged as evidence, the sheriff’s department issued a statement urging city residents to report any future events that could have gone …
Area Child Reportedly “Just Turned Five”
“It won’t be long now until Jeffrey is fully grown,” said one family member.Photo by Jay Noonan Area child Jeffrey Chao has just turned five years old. …
Animal Crossing: New Horizons to Include Gentrification
Isabelle also offers the option of forcing villagers to stop speaking their dialect of Animalese if the player deems it “unprofessional.”Photo by Dan Kaliblotzky Nintendo has …
Disneyland and UC System Compete for Highest Prices
UCSD and Disney are also currently engaged in a trademark dispute over the name “King Triton.”Photo by Sharon Roth With spring and summer break just around the …
Raccoon Themed “Pirates of the Caribbean” Ride Creates a Sinkhole in Sixth Parking Lot
UCSD officials apologized for disrupting “the foundation of trust” between students and faculty.Photo by Sharon Roth After a controversial decision by Chancellor Khosla to install a raccoon-themed …
Disneyland and UC System Compete for Highest Prices
UCSD and Disney are also currently engaged in a trademark dispute over the name “King Triton.”Photo by Sharon Roth With spring and summer break just around the …
Burger King Announces New Snakey Shakey to compete with McDonald’s Shamrock Shake
Burger King announced that every Kid’s Shake will come with a free rattle.Photo by Sharon Roth In a new step towards commercializing holidays across the calendar, Burger …
Method Actor Revealed to be Crippling Alcoholic Revealed to be Method Actor
Fellow actors claim Dunne is still not over his gambling addiction from “Guys and Dolls.”Photo by Sharon Roth Local San Diegan method actor was recently found …
Local STEM School Reforms Anti-Bullying Policy to Focus on Nerd Perpetrators
“They make fun of me because I can’t prove Fermat’s Last Theorem,” said Toyle.Photo by Jay Noonan In an attempt to curb bullying tendencies, an elite STEM …
Gamers Encouraged to Vote with “Primary Ballot Any-Percent” Speedruns
Counting issues were later reported due to people clipping through the wrong parts of the ballot.Photo by Jack Yang With voter turnout expected to be extremely high …
