Volume 32
Trump Introduces New Squirrel Breeding Program
“Squeak squeak squeak squeak,” said the squirrels.Photo by Dylan Schmidt Following the release of the redacted Epstein files, President Donald Trump signed Executive Order 14381 into …
Stable Diffusion Kills Last Horse
A sequel Umamusume game will reportedly be based on dogfighting.Photo by Amit Roth L ast night, the World Wild- life Fund (WWF) announced that the last …
BIGFOOT STOLE MY WIFE vs. Have Bigger Feet
Point: BIGFOOT STOLE MY WIFE! I was coming back from a very important golf out- ing with the boys when I opened my bedroom door and …
You’re So Cute vs. No, You Are!
Point: You’re So Cute! The sun-bright construction lights lining Ridgewalk illuminated everything from the darkest corner of the Sixth College dorms to the trees of Torrey …
