Volume 32 Issue 7
I’m Holding Your Mental Health Hostage vs. I Can’t Read the Ransom Note
Point: I’m Holding Your Mental Health Hostage Hello, Alan. I want to play a game. You won’t receive any of these instructions, only a note from …
PRESIDENT TRUMP EATS IRANIANPEACE DELEGATION
Tragedy struck during the U.S. – Iranian Peace Accords when President Donald J. Trump reportedly unhinged his jaw, and, in one fell swoop, swallowed the entire …
‘Looksmaxxing’ Influencer Sternocleidomastoid ‘Famemaxxes’
“I wish someone looked at me the way Sterno looks at himself,” said Xbox user MuscleMaxxer208.Photo by Aidan Moran In recent months, adolescent male viewership of …
Some People Shouldn’t Have Jobs
Is it me, or are people just hiring anybody these days? I only ask because, last week, I heard that an old schoolmate of mine, Mandy, …
Susan Bagel: Pickle
The dewy winds of spring have departed, and the waters they brought are remembered only by the ripened fruit. In the garden, my cucumber plants grow …
