Volume 32 Issue 7
Chancellor Khosla ‘Draws Line’ at Censoring Hate Speech
TIMELY WARNING: Suspect suspected, call (714) 227-4834 if spotted.Photo by Amit Roth On May 6, the Office of the Chancellor sent out a school wide email …
Books Call for Lower Book Prices
“It’s time to fight back,” said the encyclopedia.Photo by Dylan Schmidt Class reading materials from nationwide university-run bookstores have begun to organize en masse in reaction …
Students Trapped in Pokéballs Following Canvas Hack
RIMAC to be converted to fighting-type gym.Photo by Amit Roth On May 7, ShinyHunters, a self-proclaimed “white hat” cybercrime ring, compromised schoolwork platform Canvas. In additon …
Research Department Observes Theoretical Beach
“So this is what those beach episodes in anime were about?” said one weebish researcher.Photo by Amit Roth I n a shocking discovery made by “particularly …
Chancellor Named Sexiest Man Alive
“Uhhh the rioters keep chanting Khosla and the word hung, we don’t know what that means,”said one admin member.Photo by Adrien Agreste Last week, People Magazine …
Korea Implements K-Pop Idol Gamete Donor Program
“We’re going up, up, up!” said one sperm.Photo by Amanda Webber After a predictive model projected that the South Korean population will go extinct by 2030, …
