Volume 32 Issue 5
Pastor Denounces Middle East ‘Christians’
During last week’s Thursday service, Episcopal Inadventist Communion of Saints — an American Christian Evangelical church — Pastor-Shepherd Noah Beckett officially denounced “Satan’s last bastion in …
Super Mario Brothers Super Protest
In a recent press release, famed plumbing, princess-saving, go-kart racing, and ghost-hunting brothers Mario and Luigi have decided to use their platform to decry the current …
Man Negotiates Best Ever Phone Plan
On Thursday, Billy Liverford broke the world record for “Best Ever Phone Plan” after spending five hours in a Verizon store. “It’s truly an honor, but …
Muir College to Become Fifth Student Center
Last week, UC San Diego officials announced to the campus community via email that they were “getting bored” of their ongoing construction projects…
Film Bros Endangered Following Rise of Short-Fern Content
“Ah— ahh— ahh—” said multiple videos the film bros scrolled past.”Photo by Lilia Sanchez After the discovery of the new invasive media species Shortfernicus slopicus (common …
