Volume 32 Issue 5
Unexplained Virus Plagues Southeast San Diego Communities
“Why can’t these damn civilians stay calm?!” shouted one cop, scratching his head with his gun.”Photo by David Muñoz After the “GENTRI-5” virus began spreading in …
I Have Somethin’ Very Important to Say
Listen, I want you to sit down when I tell you this. I’ll wait. Make sure you’re all nice ‘n’ comfy and your seatbelt’s strapped an’ …
64 Degrees Rebrands to ‘65 Degrees’ Due to Climate Change
“I just need to wait a little longer, and then I can come visit!” said one mermaid.”Photo by Destiney Friday and Amit Roth In response to …
Muir College to Become Fifth Student Center
Last week, UC San Diego officials announced to the campus community via email that they were “getting bored” of their ongoing construction projects…
Film Bros Endangered Following Rise of Short-Fern Content
“Ah— ahh— ahh—” said multiple videos the film bros scrolled past.”Photo by Lilia Sanchez After the discovery of the new invasive media species Shortfernicus slopicus (common …
