Volume 28
Aides Refuse to Reveal Secret to Queen’s Long Life as 70th Year of Rule Approaches
The Church of England will now accept small children as tithe.Photo by Maria Dhilla As Queen Elizabeth II approaches her 70th year of rule, the Commonwealth …
Psych Student Develops Cure for Déjà Vu
Rats treated with Don’tjà Vu were eight times more likely to double-check that the stove was off before leaving the cage.Photo by Robin Brewin Last month, Don’tjà …
Some Rocks Don’t Brush Their Teeth
They take their dental health for granite
I Got You This Heart-Shaped Box for Valentine’s Day Vs. You Fool! I Need a Real Human Heart!
Point: I Got You This Heart-Shaped Box for Valentine’s Day Hey Annie. Happy Valentine’s Day. I’m not great at the whole romance thing, but I wanted …
Tennis Novice Wins First Game
Is thrust into the limelight
Top Ten Songs from Musk the Musical
Top Ten Songs from Musk the Musical It’s A-Me! Wario! Hyperloop to Hell SpaceX Oddity Do You Wanna Build A Tesla? Careful Whisper (I’m Trying to …
My Life Isn’t So Bad Actually vs. I’m From a Different Dimension, You’re in the dark timeline
Point: My Life Isn’t So Bad Actually By Ben Wilson “Bad” Version I know this may sound crazy, but I kinda enjoy my life. After over …
TikTok Songs in Dining Halls Make Customers Prone to Involuntary Fits of Dancing
Since late September, reports of involuntary fits of dancing induced by TikTok songs being played on the radio in dining halls have come in at an …
UCSD to Launch New Subscription Based Wifi Service
On Monday, UCSD announced the launch of a new wifi network that will be available to students that purchase a monthly subscription plan. Preorders for the …
I’m the gallon of milk in your fridge you have not touched since week 1
This cold, desolate land has been all I’ve known. When I was chosen by you, I thought I had a chance at a rich, adventurous life. …
