Volume 28 Issue 3
Nasa Launches Cat-based Lunar Module
Always lands on its feet
Developer Builds Houses That Come Pre-Haunted
“The previous tenants loved this house to death,” said Pierce.Photo by Maria Dhilla With current housing market trends causing strife for prospective home-owners and forcing poor, desperate …
1,000 Dead in the War on Christmas
By Xander Goldman Proud American It’s no secret that life is getting tougher for conservative, Christian, patriotic Americans like me. Still, it’s a tough pill to …
Nasa Launches Cat-based Lunar Module
Always lands on its feet
New Study Reveals Why All the YouTubers You Liked as a Kid Are Now Anti-Vaxxers
“I don’t need a vaccine to protect me; I have diamond armor,” wrote @fathogjones on Twitter.Photo by Connor Betterly As the number of vaccine mandates grows …
Sun God Weeps During Finals Week
Sun God Weeps During Finals Week Early this morning, second- year Jeremy Beremy was walking to an 8 a.m. class and reported seeing a trickle of …
Susan Bagel: Gingerbread
A ruminating Bagel, perched atop her suburban fortress, awaiting a man more substantial than the one in her hands. It’s winter, and I wake up cold. …
Wastewater Detection Systems Find Baby in Sewers After 2018 Masturbation-in-Shower Epidemic
“You think I’m gonna support these children?” asked Khosla, “I don’t even support these students.”Photo by Jack Yang On November 17th at 5:36 p.m., UCSD Wastewater Detection’s …
Local Queer Couple Speedrun Marriage Any Percent
Local Queer Couple Speedrun Marriage Any Percent Nonbinary lesbian couple Anne B. Goye and Robynn Drew have set a new record for modern queer marriages, managing …
Injuries Sustained After Ice Rink’s New “No Skates Saturday” Deal
Photo by Jack Yang Tragedy struck last Saturday after Ricky’s Ice Skatin’ ice skating rink instituted its new “No Skates Saturday” event in an attempt to bring …
