Volume 27 Issue 7
Wizards of the Coast Announces New D&D Book: The Curse of QAnon
“Thank God I don’t have to keep homebrewing this sort of thing,” commented one tired dungeon master.Photo by Jack Yang At an investor meeting yesterday, Wizards of …
Dr Pepper Forced to Pay Fine When Drink is Revealed to Contain Less Than 20% Doctors
It has notes of arrogance and student loans.Photo by Sharon Roth A high profile class-action lawsuit against Doctor Pepper over the doctoral composition of the eponymous soft …
“Pomp and Circumcision” To Be Played at UCSD Graduation Following Chancellor’s “Head Tax” Announcement
“What happens if you’re double majoring?” asked a concerned student.Photo by Jack Yang Faced with the mounting pushback against raising tuition, Chancellor Khosla has decided to temporarily …
I Got the COVID-19 Vaccine and It Destroyed My Work- Out Drive
By H. I. Tee Local Workout “Enthusiast” The COVID-19 pandemic is a real event, and it has affected many people in my community. I do not …
Local Scrabble Champion Outraged: “If Marijuana is Legal, Proper Nouns Should Be Too”
Moms have been concerned that this scrabble will lead kids to dabble in more complex word games.Photo by Maria Dhilla The legalization of marijuana has been making …
Susan’s Foolproof Bagels
Gluten Tag! Welcome to the latest edition of Susan’s mostly-baking-but-really-just-a-venting-session Baking Blog where she tackles Bagels (and the encroachment of loneliness into her life)
Video Game Journalist Learns to Jump During Final Boss Battle
Lee stated, “This game’s characters are so hard to follow. I don’t know who to pick — Singleplayer or Co-op?”Photo by Jack Yang While working on a …
Ask Emily Queue
Emily Queue here answering your questions like: Can I still eat at Chick-fil-A? At what point is it cannibalism? Am I a fraud?
Speak Softly and Carry a Big Stick: A Guide to Becoming the World’s Best Golf Caddy
Speak Softly and Carry a Big Stick: A Guide to Becoming the World’s Best Golf Caddy Horace Scope, locally-renowned golf caddy, has begun the press tour …
The MQ Goes Off the Grid
We over at the MQ are getting real frustrated with the consequences created by the industrial revolution. So we’ve decided society isn’t for us! That’s right — we’ve offifficially had it. We’re sick of it all: the posturing, the Bechdel Test failures, the targeted Instagram ads getting a bit too accurate for comfort, and the pretentious thinkpieces that are only written to incite anger and generate website views. And so, after the careful deliberation of 10 whole minutes, the MQ is going offff the grid…
