Volume 27 Issue 2

Briefs

Tom & Jerry’s Ice Cream Introduces New Flavor: Cheese

Written by: Sharon Roth

Tom & Jerry’s Ice Cream Introduces New Flavor: Cheese The beloved ice cream brand Tom & Jerry’s, based off the cartoon series by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, recently introduced …

ArticlesCampusNews

Revelle and Roosevelt Colleges to be Merged, Number of GE Requirements Doubled

Written by: Yuri Bukhradze

“At least I don’t have to worry about finding a job for the next six years,” one student said.Photo by Jack Yang Last Tuesday, during a brief …

Briefs

Local Friendship Ecosystem Endangered by Overfishing for Compliments

Written by: Aniela Drumonde

Local Friendship Ecosystem Endangered by Overfishing for Compliments Tensions between best friends Lacey Clegg and Katrina Hernandez reached a boiling point this Sunday after Clegg failed …

ArticlesLocalNews

Area Woman Living Alone With Three Cats Insists: “I’m Fine!”

Written by: Gage Tanzman

“Do we live just to die?” asked Monroe. “Meow,” said her cat.Photo by Sharon Roth The quarantining caused by the COVID-19 pandemic has stretched on for over …

Briefs

Leftist Suffers Brain Damage Seeing “More Lib Shit On Twitter”

Written by: Andrew Sitko

Leftist Suffers Brain Damage Seeing “More Lib Shit On Twitter” Twitter user @GayRevolverOcelot tweeted that they committed themselves to the local clinic, claiming they suffered brain …

ArticlesCampusNews

Pandemic Not Enough to Halt Construction at UCSD

Written by: Ayushi Banerjee

Cafe Ventana’s food reportedly tastes the same even with nuclear waste mixed in.Photo by Sharon Roth In light of the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, UCSD has made …

Center SpreadFeatures

The MQ Secedes From the Union

Written by: The MQ

We the People of the United Satire of the MQ (aka Munited Qates aka Mew Qealand aka Mouth Qorea aka MadaQascar aka MonQolia), in order to form a more perfect punchline, establish humor and ensure mocking hilarity, provide for the common reader, promote the general laughter and ensure the blessings of newspaper

Sunday Comics

New Super Political Compass U

Written by: Kaz Nuckowski and Andrew Sitko

Did you know Goomba was a closeted Republican? I sure didn’t. Come check out where your favorite Mario characters lie on the political spectrum.

Sunday Comics

What Should Have Happened

Written by: Hanaa Moosavi, Ram Sivapalan and Bri Arce

What Should Have Happened?!! By Hanaa Moosavi, Ram Sivapalan, & Bri Arce