Volume 27 Issue 2

ArticlesLocalNews

Moviegoers Petition to Implement New “PP” Rating for Pre-Pandemic Films, Citing Dangerous Behavior

Written by:

Theaters have increased the number of showing times for Jim Carrey’s “The Mask.”Photo by Stephen Lightfoot A new viral campaign, called the PG-PP Movement, has emerged …

ArticlesLocalNews

Academic Integrity Office Overwhelmed by Instances of Students “Venting” During Exam

Written by:

A hard limit was placed on emergency meetings called during quizzes.Photo by Sharon Roth The Academic Integrity Office has reported 425 new cases of students being …

ArticlesOpinionPoint - Counter PointPolitics

Politics Aren’t That Important vs. Yes, So You Shouldn’t Vote

Written by:

Point: Politics Aren’t That Important By Benny Rourke Ambivalent Democrat/Moderate If you don’t want to vote, honestly it won’t bug me that much. I, for one, …

ArticlesCampusNewsTech

Research Finds That Masks Prevent Cartoon Pie Physics

Written by:

Studies show that data from this research affects all but 3.14 percent of Americans.Photo by Jack Yang A recent report by the UCSD Institute of Public …

ArticlesLocalNews

Area Woman Living Alone With Three Cats Insists: “I’m Fine!”

Written by:

“Do we live just to die?” asked Monroe. “Meow,” said her cat.Photo by Sharon Roth The quarantining caused by the COVID-19 pandemic has stretched on for over …

Briefs

Leftist Suffers Brain Damage Seeing “More Lib Shit On Twitter”

Written by:

Leftist Suffers Brain Damage Seeing “More Lib Shit On Twitter” Twitter user @GayRevolverOcelot tweeted that they committed themselves to the local clinic, claiming they suffered brain …

ArticlesCampusNews

Pandemic Not Enough to Halt Construction at UCSD

Written by:

Cafe Ventana’s food reportedly tastes the same even with nuclear waste mixed in.Photo by Sharon Roth In light of the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, UCSD has made …

Top 10

Top Ten Things You Almost Forgot About in 2020

Written by:

Top 10 Things You Almost Forgot About in 2020 The sensation of a lover’s caress The Alamo The apocalyptic boom of a HydroFlask hitting the floor …

Top 10

Top Ten Ways to Ascend

Written by:

Top Ten Ways to Ascend Unlock repressed childhood trauma Put on a sweater fresh from the dryer Consume the elusive 3% milk Push every door marked …

Top 10

Top Ten Forbidden Dining Hall Meals

Written by:

Top Ten Forbidden Dining Hall Meals Chicken tendrils The Pines Cockroach Salad™ Cough Drop Gushers The ready-to-eat sushi sold at the markets Chocolate cupcake with garlic …