Top Ten Ways to Make Sure Your Vote Gets Counted
- Vote several times just to make sure
- Ask very nicely
- Show up in person with no mask—they’ll know who to put you down for
- Copy your friend’s answer
- Hand your ballot to your county clerk with a 20 dollar bill and wink
- Eat it, pass it, and when the UCSD COVID-19 sewage screening people see it, they’ll send it in
- Be a corporation
- Put yourself in the envelope
- “One vote, ah ah ah, two votes ah ah ah”
- You can’t—the election was yesterday
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