Moviegoers Petition to Implement New “PP” Rating for Pre-Pandemic Films, Citing Dangerous Behavior

Written by: Maria Dhilla

Theaters have increased the number of showing times for Jim Carrey’s “The Mask.”Photo by Stephen Lightfoot A new viral campaign, called the PG-PP Movement, has emerged …

ArticlesOpinionPoint - Counter PointPolitics

Politics Aren’t That Important vs. Yes, So You Shouldn’t Vote

Written by: Kaz Nuckowski and Megan Cox

Point: Politics Aren’t That Important By Benny Rourke Ambivalent Democrat/Moderate If you don’t want to vote, honestly it won’t bug me that much. I, for one, …


Academic Integrity Office Overwhelmed by Instances of Students “Venting” During Exam

Written by: Melina Cruz

A hard limit was placed on emergency meetings called during quizzes.Photo by Sharon Roth The Academic Integrity Office has reported 425 new cases of students being …


Research Finds That Masks Prevent Cartoon Pie Physics

Written by: Matthew Miltimore

Studies show that data from this research affects all but 3.14 percent of Americans.Photo by Jack Yang A recent report by the UCSD Institute of Public …

Top Ten

Top Ten Ways to Ascend

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten Ways to Ascend Unlock repressed childhood trauma Put on a sweater fresh from the dryer Consume the elusive 3% milk Push every door marked …

Top Ten

Top Ten Forbidden Dining Hall Meals

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten Forbidden Dining Hall Meals Chicken tendrils The Pines Cockroach Salad™ Cough Drop Gushers The ready-to-eat sushi sold at the markets Chocolate cupcake with garlic …


If 2020 Fucked Everyone, Then How Come I’m Still A Virgin?

Written by: Megan Cox

By Trenton Toland Freshman Incel When I heard the Fox News Financial Analyst say “2020 fucked everyone,” my initial thought was, “Sweet! Now I don’t have …

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Top Ten Ways to Make Sure Your Vote Gets Counted

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten Ways to Make Sure Your Vote Gets Counted Vote several times just to make sure Ask very nicely Show up in person with no …


Former “Gifted” Student No Longer “a Pleasure to Have in Class”

Written by: Megan Cox

“Sometimes I feel like I peaked in preschool,” lamented Livens.Photo by Sharon Roth In first grade, Amanda Livens was reportedly labeled a “talented and gifted” student. 12 …


Even I, A Poli Sci Major, Have No Idea What the Fuck is Going On

Written by: Stephen Lightfoot

By Jeremy Rossi Fourth-year Poli Sci Student Oftentimes my friends come to me for my hot takes on current events. And who could blame them? As …