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ArticlesCampusNews

Pandemic Not Enough to Halt Construction at UCSD

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Cafe Ventana’s food reportedly tastes the same even with nuclear waste mixed in.Photo by Sharon Roth In light of the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, UCSD has made …

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Top Ten Things You Almost Forgot About in 2020

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Top 10 Things You Almost Forgot About in 2020 The sensation of a lover’s caress The Alamo The apocalyptic boom of a HydroFlask hitting the floor …

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Top Ten Ways to Ascend

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Top Ten Ways to Ascend Unlock repressed childhood trauma Put on a sweater fresh from the dryer Consume the elusive 3% milk Push every door marked …

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Top Ten Forbidden Dining Hall Meals

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Top Ten Forbidden Dining Hall Meals Chicken tendrils The Pines Cockroach Salad™ Cough Drop Gushers The ready-to-eat sushi sold at the markets Chocolate cupcake with garlic …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

If 2020 Fucked Everyone, Then How Come I’m Still A Virgin?

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By Trenton Toland Freshman Incel When I heard the Fox News Financial Analyst say “2020 fucked everyone,” my initial thought was, “Sweet! Now I don’t have …

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Top Ten Ways to Make Sure Your Vote Gets Counted

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Top Ten Ways to Make Sure Your Vote Gets Counted Vote several times just to make sure Ask very nicely Show up in person with no …

ArticlesCampusNews

Former “Gifted” Student No Longer “a Pleasure to Have in Class”

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“Sometimes I feel like I peaked in preschool,” lamented Livens.Photo by Sharon Roth In first grade, Amanda Livens was reportedly labeled a “talented and gifted” student. 12 …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

Even I, A Poli Sci Major, Have No Idea What the Fuck is Going On

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By Jeremy Rossi Fourth-year Poli Sci Student Oftentimes my friends come to me for my hot takes on current events. And who could blame them? As …

Features

ArticlesCampusNewsTech

Zoom Backgrounds Now More Important Than Fashion Sense

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Casando said, “I haven’t left my house in months. I wouldn’t be caught dead without my zoom background!”Photo by Sharon Roth As the COVID-19 pandemic continues to …